Disgusting

Okay here's the deal. If you are a person who has a fetish for dying your hair, listen up.

DONT DO IT IN THE BATHROOM SINK. PERIOD.

Ok story...

This afternoon I had a few dishes to wash. Being that I was doing them in the kitchen sink I decided to also check out the drain problem I've been having in my bathroom. My hands were already dirty so I didn't have much of an issue digging into a little home plumbing. Be that as it may, no amount of dirt on my hands could have prepared me for what I was about to experience.

The only time I actually heavily use my bathroom sink is in the mornings when I shave. I do everything else in the Kitchen because it is easier. I shaved on Thursday morning only to discover that the water wouldn't go down the drain. I left for work and two hours later returned to find that very little had drained still. SO it took the rest of the day to finish emptying which was rather troubling.

This afternoon I put a bucket under the plumbing underneath and began to unscrew things. (Don't worry I've done plumbing before) As soon as I started unscrewing the plastic PVC connector ring I knew I was in for trouble. I was knocked back by a horrifying stench. My immediate thought was "O crap, something crawled down my sink and died."

Well I was wrong but not far off. I finally got everything unscrewed and the trap (the U shaped thingy) and let it fall into the bucket. After getting a whiff of what emitted itself from the drain, I promptly leaned over the toilet and threw up. It was nauseating. I was horrified. I wanted to put everything back together and forget the project but I had to press on. No amount of clothing over my mouth prevented the stench while still allowing me to breath so I had to finish the job by sheer will power. (dramatic music begins)

I crawled under the sink to find anywhere between 12 and 15 inch long strands of hair coming out of the drain and I knew immediately what some (multiple expletives inserted here) female patron had done previous to my arrival........dyed her hair.

I will spare you the juicy details (and I mean JUICY, and sticky and smelly and so on) but needless to say I got the drain cleared. I removed a small rat sized wad of hair and dye from the sink and promptly hurled again.

After getting everything back together I ran bleach and comet down the sink with hot water for about a half hour. Finally the stench began to clear and I could finally breathe freely again. It was the most horrible thing ever.

Moral of the story, if you have a really fat boyfriend and need a substitute for Belemia for him, just dye your hair using the bathroom sink, wait about two years, and then make him go clean it out. Trust me he won't come out without blowing chunks at least once. And ladies.... do that in the bathtub or something, especially if you have long hair. The kitchen and bathroom sinks/vanities do not have the plumbing capacity to handle hair above a few inches in length (and by few inches I don't mean 20. like 2 or 3 max).

O by the way, I've been living in this apartment for 6 months now. For an entire year prior it was used as a demonstrator unit. Therefore, the grotesque mass of unearthly, vile, beastly, contemptible, coagulated, concretion that I expunged from my sink could be possibly well over 2 years old. Jeeminy Christmas.

Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together.